Good Idea, your T-rex joke.
Bad Idea, having the same joke repeated 3 times instead of having 3 different knowing you can deliver good puns. If you wanted to tell only this joke, it would rise the views having it only once. Perhaps, I'm wrong, the rest of the reviews will tell.
Visually speaking: Nice one!
Keep it up.
Thank you for the feedback! You're absolutely right, so I cut out the repeating segments. Thank you for checking it out, I really appreciate it! :)
I think you need to work some more in your timing and composition. Some shots were pretty slow for a fight scene, and others need improve in clarity / readability and focus. Having your characters drawn red and black helps identifying them, but still some of the shots were a little confusing or could be improved.
In any case, some of the shots are also visual candy, keep drawing those.
PD: Batman looks kind thing to me, but that's up to you as "art director".
Thanks for you comment dude but this is an animatic. An animatic is a moving storyboard hence why you may think the pacing is slow. It's also to convey where and if I should or should not increase the pacing for a shot more so for visual reference but thank you anyway for taking the time to watch and provide your feedback. Unfortunately this project was shelved and the full production will not happen.
Just like others say, you need to improve your audio design, and by that I don't only mean the quality of the samples but all the audio. It sounds weird when nothing sounds at all; some music and / or sound bed for the ambience will improve it.
Finally, work on your lighting too so your models (legos in this case) look better on camera. Keep them in focus and experiment with shadows too; take advantage of them (specially if you're doing something about batman or any similar).
Search for ilumination tips.
Overall, good job.
yeah i admit the lighting was bad, i was trying to make it look dark but when i was filming it, it looked fine and i just got i new bulb so that will help
but thanks for the feedback
Composition, visuals and music were gorgeous.
Two tips to keep in mind for your next animation.
The expression of your characters. Your story is dramatic, and you have the privilege to tell it, so don't loose the oportunity to tell us more about the soul of it.
First I thought she didn't move her pupils because she was blind, but then I realized the hero's didn't move either. I don't know what software you used for animating, but Flash, Toon Boom, After Effects, Anime Studio, etc they all offer some way to animate them. One way would be swapping beetween multiple faces, just like they do for stop motion.
Second, your walk cycles.
Watch people and animals, there is an ease out and in vertically because of gravity. But usually we don't ease in and out every step horizontally unless its some special kind of walk. The movement is supposed to flow.
Personally, I found the ending kind of anticlimatic, I was expecting the man returning to claim the throne or even perhaps his children who would stop the killing. Stories don't always need to end like that. You're the director / writer and it's up to what you want to tell and I respect that.
Perhaps it won't be too easy distributing / spreading out / your animation because of the lenght, I wish you luck and will recommend other colleagues to watch it.
It was an splendid animation to watch.
It was well animated but it would "feel" much better if it simulated and ending. Perhaps not necessarily the whole story but some mayor point in the battle between them.
About the sounds, the link voice may do for the blue fighter, but I think you need to look for a more fitting voice for the red one, the age and archetype of cap falcon voice don't quite do for him.
I agree with you.
I would be better for your outline if you used a second layer for the color or the "paint under" and "paint over selection" mode for your brush.
Your composition ends being crammed / tight. Try leaving some negative space.
The animation and audio need a lot of work, but I enjoy the literal puns enough to watch more. If you're really into making this a series, try to add more than one single pun for episode.
The animated series of Beetlejuice had a whole damm lot of literal jokes, I bet some of them could give you a couple of ideas.
There's a lot of things to improve and lots of things you're already doing great. I'll just mention one that may help you with future projects.
Animating in scene and animating loops. A lot of the animation of your characters walking or running seem odd because their feet slide. When you can see the feet, If instead of making a walking or running loop and place them instead on the ground step by step, it will not only match but it will make the animation more organic because every pose will be different.
Great feedback about animating in scene. Due to the number of characters and the length of film, I felt a little overwhelmed at the amount of animation I had to do. Animating in scene, although time consuming, would probably have given me a better looking result. Something which I'm looking forward to incorporating in my next film. Thanks for this useful suggestion Atzu :)
The animation needs some polishing. I'm grateful that every time I thought you were going to end the story with a simpler little gag you pushed it forward; that made the time worth it.
The acting seems to need more emotion, it sounded like when someone is trying to repeat something she or he heard or imagined rather than something that is happening in that moment. Perhaps when recording the actor tried not to be to loud because of the equipment placement or because of shyness. In any case, I wish you get past it.
Keep up the good work.
thanks for your honest comment, yea, i know i still got to work on a lot of things but im actually really happy the people here on newgrounds are pretty nice and very down to earth. Im new here and im starting to get why so many animators i watch on youtube talk so highly of this site.
As for the voice acting, both your statements are correct. I record in my little dorm room which has an echo if you talk loud enough, and im still new to "voice acting" thing (if you want to say what i did was voice acting haha) so in some parts i actually change the script a bit so im not voicing a scene waay out of my capabilities (like emotional stuff), but yea i hope to get better too. oh and thanks again for the comment, more stuff coming real soon :)
Apart from the wheel that didn't move and the front light of kirby's vehicle that should have "self ilumination", kirby is way to static. It's ok for him to be happy most of the time, but it would be much better if you added animation at least to his eyes. A couple of blinks or him reacting to luigi's gun just before being shot, just like the expression you achieved with Luigi would lift your work a pretty damm lot.
I already read you're new at 3d animation and I don't know how the animation software you're using works, but a way to animate the eyes from kirby in a software like maya, 3dmax or lightwave would be animating UV map along a 2d texture which contains multiples gestures of kirby. Look for something related for the software you're using. Hope it helps.
I like the way you lighted the scene. Nice timing too.
actually that helps alot, thank you! :D
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