The animation and audio need a lot of work, but I enjoy the literal puns enough to watch more. If you're really into making this a series, try to add more than one single pun for episode.
The animated series of Beetlejuice had a whole damm lot of literal jokes, I bet some of them could give you a couple of ideas.
There's a lot of things to improve and lots of things you're already doing great. I'll just mention one that may help you with future projects.
Animating in scene and animating loops. A lot of the animation of your characters walking or running seem odd because their feet slide. When you can see the feet, If instead of making a walking or running loop and place them instead on the ground step by step, it will not only match but it will make the animation more organic because every pose will be different.
Great feedback about animating in scene. Due to the number of characters and the length of film, I felt a little overwhelmed at the amount of animation I had to do. Animating in scene, although time consuming, would probably have given me a better looking result. Something which I'm looking forward to incorporating in my next film. Thanks for this useful suggestion Atzu :)
The animation needs some polishing. I'm grateful that every time I thought you were going to end the story with a simpler little gag you pushed it forward; that made the time worth it.
The acting seems to need more emotion, it sounded like when someone is trying to repeat something she or he heard or imagined rather than something that is happening in that moment. Perhaps when recording the actor tried not to be to loud because of the equipment placement or because of shyness. In any case, I wish you get past it.
Keep up the good work.
thanks for your honest comment, yea, i know i still got to work on a lot of things but im actually really happy the people here on newgrounds are pretty nice and very down to earth. Im new here and im starting to get why so many animators i watch on youtube talk so highly of this site.
As for the voice acting, both your statements are correct. I record in my little dorm room which has an echo if you talk loud enough, and im still new to "voice acting" thing (if you want to say what i did was voice acting haha) so in some parts i actually change the script a bit so im not voicing a scene waay out of my capabilities (like emotional stuff), but yea i hope to get better too. oh and thanks again for the comment, more stuff coming real soon :)
Apart from the wheel that didn't move and the front light of kirby's vehicle that should have "self ilumination", kirby is way to static. It's ok for him to be happy most of the time, but it would be much better if you added animation at least to his eyes. A couple of blinks or him reacting to luigi's gun just before being shot, just like the expression you achieved with Luigi would lift your work a pretty damm lot.
I already read you're new at 3d animation and I don't know how the animation software you're using works, but a way to animate the eyes from kirby in a software like maya, 3dmax or lightwave would be animating UV map along a 2d texture which contains multiples gestures of kirby. Look for something related for the software you're using. Hope it helps.
I like the way you lighted the scene. Nice timing too.
actually that helps alot, thank you! :D
You could have cut the part where the first knight wakes up, that scene doesn't tells us anything relevant or interesting so far apart from perhaps he uses his helmet even when sleeping (which sounds pretty unconfortable by the way).
These guys end up in jail after interrupting the nap of a couple of guards, but apart from that, they didn't cause much mischief/havoc at all, which could have been funnier than the scene with the "bird alarm clock".
Apart from those details, I think you are doing a good work the animation, audio and phasing/timing.
Keep it up.
I was going good so far, but the ending lacked some "punch". Perhaps changing the evil laugh would do.
The limited color palette looked nice, it was a good contrast between the cold characters and the warm backgrounds. The timing was also enjoyable.
So far it looks you can bring up good animations and Fx. The next question would be how good are you to tell the story of these characters.
A teacher used to say there were three types of "plays / stories / art creations" those were the viewer said "Hey bro, I can relate to that feeling", those were she / he said "that was kind of cheesy", and those "I have no idea what are you talking about".
Good luck with all that. Keep up the good work.
Some of the animation is kind of jerky, but the boldness / audacity of your shots and the general timing is amazing. I bet you could improve your animation from time to time, but your "storytelling/direction skills" are already pretty neat.
I specially liked the conclusion that says it's not about size, but about esence.
I agree with others that the flash isn't what one would expect to find on this site, but I think that makes it even more interesting. Besides, seems like a lot of people do enjoy watching your animations.
By the way, congratulations. The few animation I've watched with this kind of topic were explained rather simply, at least to me.
Keep it up.
Very cute and short.
Was it on purpose that Lulu only sounds through the left speaker? My left speaker doesn't work sometimes so at the begining I though she was mute because she had no brain until I "spanked" the speaker. I ask because maybe it was on purpose because she is on the left but it could be also because the microphone you used to record your daughter isn't ok (It happened to me with another animation I couldn't hear on mobile devices precicely because of that).
By the way, it was a very neat detail that the background was video footage instead of just a plain picture.
Keep it up. Hope your daughter will like to help you with the next one.
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